Feeling Fine – The Silent Partner (feat. IVEY.H)
[LYRICS]
I woke up thinking maybe this is healing
For once the noise inside me wasn’t screaming
For a little while my chest felt light
No war in my head, no need to fight
I laughed at something on the radio
Drove with the windows down real slow
Started believing I was finally okay
Like maybe the darkness had faded away
But then it hit me out of nowhere
Like a ghost dragging me back there
Heart racing hard for no damn reason
Back to fighting demons I thought were leaving
And I’m exhausted from surviving
Tired of barely staying grounded
Every time I think I’ve escaped it
I end up drowning in it again
I’m so tired of feeling fine
Then losing myself in my own mind
One good day and then it crashes
Like healing disappears in flashes
I don’t wanna fight myself tonight
Don’t wanna fake another smile
God, I just wanna breathe for once
Without feeling terrified inside
Everybody says, Just give it time
But they don’t hear these thoughts of mine
They don’t know what it’s like to pray
Just to make it through one more day
I’m sick of checking how I feel
Wondering if any peace is real
Cause every calm feels temporary
Like happiness is way too fragile for me
And I hate the way it steals my sleep
Makes small fears cut way too deep
I keep asking what I did wrong
Why my mind keeps dragging me along
I’m exhausted from pretending
Like I’m not constantly descending
Every time I think I’ve escaped it
It pulls me under once again
I’m so tired of feeling fine
Then losing myself in my own mind
One good day and then it crashes
Like healing disappears in flashes
I don’t wanna fight myself tonight
Don’t wanna fake another smile
God, I just wanna breathe for once
Without feeling terrified inside
Sometimes I sit alone in silence
Trying not to turn pain into violence
Not against the world, not against you
Just against the thoughts I can’t break through
I miss the person I used to be
Before fear became my gravity
Before every heartbeat felt like danger
Before my own mind became a stranger
And if tomorrow brings that weight again
I swear I don’t know if I can pretend
I just want one moment that’s real
One peaceful night where I can heal
If anybody hears me now
Tell me I’m not too far down
Tell me this won’t last forever
Cause I can’t keep living like this
I’m so tired of feeling fine
Then breaking down a thousand times
Trying to outrun what’s inside me
While anxiety keeps finding me
I don’t wanna be this scared again
Don’t wanna lose myself like this
I just wanna wake up one day
And finally know what peace is
